Before You Die

Make sure you live.

What is it about being 40 something that makes me think so much about death. I am definitely feeling life is too short. So much has flown by, and I want some time back. I spent a night in New York and felt twenty. Until midnight. Then I felt forty.

As I re-discover boxes and boxes full of old photos, I am transported back to other times: happier, sadder, thinner, fatter, and all....younger. Old photos conjure such mixed memories. I have been showing a lot of baby photos to my son, who is now 11. He doesn't remember, but he enjoys the stories that go with the images. He is enjoying my old wedding photos, which I saved for him even after I divorced his father.

I have been doing a pretty good job of living and loving, traveling and sitting still, laughing and crying, feasting and fasting. I am too rarely content with where I am or what I have done, seen , felt , been, tried, etc. and I could certainly be more patient with myself.

I think now might be intermission. Time to talk about the first half. Time to anticipate the second half. No one really talks about the end of the play, except in terms of what they want the playbill headline to read.

I am just in that middle place, not sure what to make of it all.

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