Random acts of kindness

Bono.  Superstar in more ways than one.

We all have seen or heard about that crazy moment during her show when Oprah says “reach under your seat” and everyone ends up with a new car.  When a superstar reaches out and touches an ordinary person with a gift of genuine kindness, it touches us all. 

I never had the privilege of sitting in the audience during  ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’, but I was in the audience for the 100^th performance of U2’s 360 Tour in Nashville last Saturday night.  The show ended with the song, ‘Surrender’, and all 45,000 of us there were about to leave happy.

My son, Alex, was going to leave happier than most concert goers, as he had not one, but TWO guitar picks in his pocket.  The came unexpectedly from Adam Clayton’s guitar tech as he circled the outer stage during a check.  The second came a few minutes later from Dallas, Edge’s guitar tech who we were calling by name.  It turns out that second pick has Bono’s signature on one side, and a Superbowl insignia on the other.  Cool.  Even cooler if you are 12.  

Alex at the gate to Vanderbilt Stadium in Nashville

Here we are!  As seen by the U2 Fan Cam

Alex up in the stands, overlooking the stage, and our great seats down below.

Adam Clayton's guitar tech

Dallas, Edge's guitar tech, gives Alex a pick.

Eason and Alex with pick #1.

Alex with his picks, and the band about to walk onstage.

Then again, it was Eason who had orchestrated everything, and was certainly happier than most concert goers as well .  This was his sixth concert on the tour.  He had been in the Red Zone for the 360 Tour in Dublin, Chicago, Washington DC, Atlanta, Miami just three days earlier, and now Nashville.  He knew where to stand and what to look for.  He knew when there were diplomats in the audience because he spotted the security. He knew the usual set list, and when they deviated from it. He knew Dallas, and he knew he often gave guitar picks to kids.  Eason is a pro concert goer and a huge U2 fan, and this was his second concert in three days with a 12 year old in the front row of the Red Zone.  Three picks for two different kids in three days.  Not bad.

Edge on the bridge, with Bono in the background on the second bridge.

Bono passing right in front of us

Show #100 on the U2 360 Tour.

But at the end of the show, it was not what we received in booty that made the event all the more memorable.  It was Bono's personal gesture that was at once so small and so huge that it simply defied explanation in the moment.   I was thrilled and stunned to watch as Bono approached the front edge of the stage after the finale (we were off to stage right) and lean over to someone and yell “What do you want to play?”.  Seriously?  How could he even know if someone in the audience could play anything?   

A second later, he was hauling a rather large guy (at least 6 inches taller than Bono) up onto the stage.  Was this really happening?  Bono said “Get this guy a guitar.  Give him my guitar”.  And to the guy, “What’s your wife’s name?”.  The poor guy could barely reply, “Andrea.  My wife’s name is Andrea”.  And before you knew it, Bono was singing the intro to “All I Want Is You”  

 “You say you want diamonds on a ring of gold.   

You say you want your story to remain untold.   

But all the promises we made

From the cradle to the grave 

When all I want is you…” 

When I think of it, I still get goosebumps on my arms.  Imagine: Random guy from the audience is hauled up on stage, is holding Bono’s guitar and playing it (quite well), and Bono is singing with him and the band has now joined in.  Imagine the audience going crazy.  Now imagine twice as crazy as that.  I thought about making a video, but frankly I just wanted to enjoy the moment.  I was singing too, at the top of my lungs.  We all were.  When it ended, I was screaming.  We all were.  Bono and the guy hugged.  Adam (we learned his name the next day), took off the guitar and handed it back to Bono.

Adam Bevell plays Bono's guitar while Bono sings

Then Bono gave him back the guitar!  “You keep it” he appeared to say.  More screaming with whatever voice I had left.  Can you possibly imagine the thrill?  I kept thinking I was witnessing the experience of a lifetime, and we were all thrilled to share the experience.  I was so happy for this guy, and so happy to be there.  

We learned more the next day, and the story only got better.  Adam is blind.  Bono was reading his sign “Blind guitar player. Bring me up!” when he first approached him in the audience.  So while Adam never saw the stadium go wild, he most certainly heard it and felt it.  He was nervous at first, but he did a great job in spite of the nerves.  I am certain he will always treasure that guitar.

Over and over I thought of that moment.  I thought of Bono’s simple display of kindness.  I thought of how he had already finished an incredible concert with the band, and that was enough.  Then he went the extra mile, and did something extraordinary for one person, which became extraordinary for us all.  And the ripple effect continues.  Even in that moment, I was in awe of the gesture, and asking myself how I could do the same in my own life.  

Instead of leaving the concert thinking about what an amazing experience I had just been given, I left thinking "How can I give someone an experience that feels like THAT!!?"  Bravo to Bono and U2 for shifting my thinking.

New York Magazine Weddings

I get these on a regular basis,  and for the most part, I cannot submit anything because my clients are too private.  However, I think there are a lot of photographers out there who get left out of the loop and never hear about these open submissions. If so, then this post is for you.

Branding. The answer to everything?

An upcoming ad for the Sag Harbor Express

It has been happening slowly, over the last year or two, but now I see the tidal wave.  If I were getting started in the wedding photography industry today, I would not choose to be a photographer (at least initially)....I would start a company that does "branding and design" for other photographers.  And I would be rich in no time....and then I would pursue the less lucrative, but infinitely rewarding career in photography.

New logos, inspiration boards, new colors, a fresh look, a new message....who doesn't want all of these things?  In fact, I would love them myself.  I am constantly falling in love with other people's websites, logos, blogs and 'brands'. I get easily bored with the one I have, and inspired by all the goodies around me.  It doesn't help that I have ridiculously high standards for myself, so of course that means that most of what I do is never good enough (for me). 

But when will enough be enough? When do I have enough shoes?  When have I lost enough weight (don't get me started here!).  When is my website 'good enough'?   If it isn't broken, do I need to fix it?  When is a new website not the answer to ...well....everything?  I recognize this feeling.....the feeling of "as soon as my website is done, you will all know how great I am".

As it turns out, every time I think I need a new "look", some friend, colleague, or complete stranger reminds me that I don't.  They remind me that my work is lovely (even on the days I am not feeling that way), and they don't need to see a new website to know that.  They remind me that there is no perfect new look.  They remind me that 20 years of timeless photos really speak for themselves.

I think I have the most incredible group of clients on earth.  I love what I do because I love the people I get to meet through my work.  So many have become my friends.  Many are people I work with year after year shooting family portraits.  They love photography almost as much as I do.  Many of them could hire anyone...and I mean anyone...including Annie Leibovitz (who has a Wikipedia page, but not a website), and they choose me.  That is a huge honor which makes me a bit nervous, and a huge responsibility which I do not take lightly.   I put my heart and soul into every shoot.  Not every day is my most brilliant day, but like I said, my standards are impossibly high.  I should learn to feel more satisfied that my best on any given day is as good as it gets.  I certainly give it my best shot.

Much of my greatest work cannot be shown, even on my own website or blog.  Believe me, I wish I could, but my clients need privacy more than I need publicity, and so most of my photos are seen only in private homes.  But I know the photos are loved, and that makes me happy.  I know that they tell their friends and family about me, and that word of mouth referrals are the only advertisements that have ever worked for me. This is just as true in 2011 as it was in 1991 when I shot my first wedding, or in 2001 when I built my first website.

I may feel invisible sometimes, but the truth is I am anything but.  I feel like I need to advertise, need more editorial, better SEO, more more more....but none of that ever seems to make a difference.  If you Google "New York Wedding Photographers/New York Photographers/NYC Wedding photographer", you will likely find me on page one...for now....and yet I am not sure if it matters.  I would rather spend my time making my existing clients happy.  More than once, a bride has said to me, "You were my first call".  Seriously?  Before a planner?  Before a venue?  First call?  Dang.  I am flattered.  But I need to take this as a sign that my work speaks for itself, and no one is finding me because of Google or my website.

I recently asked one of my good friends, a former bride and client, what she saw in my work.  I should have recorded her answer, because a lot of it surprised me.  She felt I had the gift of empathy in my photography, an ability to see and feel people in a way that not everyone does.  She said it was like I was taking pictures of people from the inside out.  I told her that I thought I just took the snapshots that people's friends would take if they knew how to use a camera better.  She said it was so much more than that.  Perhaps this is the core of why I can't "re-brand myself".  I don't even seem to understand what I do as well as my clients do.  I should ask more of them what it is that they think I do.....and put them on my new and improved website.

I still feel like I need new branding.  I will probably always feel that way.  Clearly I am not alone.  I just read Lara Casey's blog post about "Making Brands Happen", and she is fully booked for the rest of 2011 and into 2012.  Three weeks ago, I had the option of a spot in June this year.  What does that tell you?  It tells me I should team up with some designers and start a new company!

As it turns out, my goals are much higher than I initially realized,  and a new logo and website are not what I really need to get me there.   I would see this all differently if I were just getting started, but I am not.  Don't get me wrong, branding is the buzzword of the moment because it is very valuable stuff.  In my case, a little clever branding wouldn't hurt and might help, but I'd rather have a Wikipedia page than a website any day. My goal is not to just make pretty pictures, pictures worth keeping for a lifetime, but to make a difference.  In that department, I am just getting started.

Check out this post for the launch of a new model agency.  I think their whole website is fresh, and fun and creative.  Right now, so many photographers I know are struggling with concepts of "branding" and image.  I love the way this agency has turned that on its head, with models no less, and stripped away the artifice.  There is a lot of fun stuff on this website. 

I like the model "rankings", adn that fact that Kate Moss is #2.  That is some serious longevity, given the average "lifespan" of a model.